Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************** In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a septic tank truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in." ************************** On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ************************** On another plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." ************************** On a church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak." ************************** At a tire shop "Invite us to your next blowout." ************************** At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ************************** On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ************************** In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ************************** On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push." ************************** At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ************************** On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!" ************************** At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ************************** Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ************************** In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ************************** At the electric company "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ************************** In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up." ************************** In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." ************************** At a propane filling station: "Thank heaven for little grills." ************************** And don't forget the sign at a radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." ********************** Sign on the back of another septic tank truck: "Caution - This truck is full of political promises"